Message from the Rabbi
Friends,
I have been asked to write this month about Lashon Ha-Ra, which means, literally,
bad or wicked speech, and refers to gossip and slander. Jewish tradition considers
these to be serious offenses, and so I would like to share with you a condensed
version of an excellent article found at a website that I would like to recommend
to you as an excellent resource for almost any basic questions that one may have
about Judaism. The website address is http://www.jewfaq.org/speech.htm.
In addition to the plentiful information found in this article, I would like
to add my concerns about a
phenomenon found in many communities, our own included,
known as “triangulation”. Triangulation occurs when Person A has
a problem in their relationship with Person B, and, instead of going directly
to Person B to work it out, Person A approaches a third party, Person C, to discuss
the problem. This is a form of lashon hara, as all or most of the discussion
between Person A and Person C is focused on the speech or actions of a person
who is not present in the conversation, that is, Person B. I would like to urge
all of us, when we find someone’s behavior or speech hurtful or objectionable
in some way, to approach that person directly and in private to work it out face-to-face.
If you feel that you need a mediator to help you with this, I am happy to participate
in that way. If I am the person who has hurt you or acted objectionably towards
you, I would encourage you to speak directly to me. If you feel the need for
a mediator to help resolve a problem that you have with me, I encourage you to
approach the President of the Congregation, Steve Schwartz, who will keep the
matter entirely confidential, and will help mediate a resolution between us.
I believe that in this way we can resolve problems as they arise in the most
positive, constructive, ethical and Jewish way possible, without allowing them
to fester, and without poisoning our community by spreading lashon hara throughout
it. Even when there are not problems between us, lashon hara can create problems
of its own. I encourage all of us to be mindful of how we speak and what we speak
about, so that we can avoid hurting each other in ways that are avoidable.
I am more than happy to discuss my comments or the contents of the article with
any or all of you publicly or privately. Please feel encouraged to approach me
directly with your comments or concerns, whether in person, or via phone or email.
Finding healthy ways to resolve conflict is important to the health of a community,
and I look forward to studying the topic of lashon hara with all members of our
community.
In January, we are looking forward to a number of events for Martin Luther King
Day, as well as our annual Tu B’Shvat Seder. You will find publicity for
these events in your virtual or real mailboxes. Purim, too is just around the
corner, so start thinking about the costume that YOU will wear for that day!!
Details about Purim observances and the Purim Spiel (Play) will follow. Please
let me know if you have an idea for the spiel or would like to participate in
it.
I am looking forward to being back in Chambersburg soon.
Kol tuv, Molly Karp, student rabbi
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